IN THIS ISSUE:
-- EDITOR' NOTE
-- THE REAL JUDGMENT DAY(S)?
--BAD (BAD) BOYS: CRIMINAL DIVISION
-- BAD (BAD) BOYS: CIVIL DIVISION
-- CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
-- "THEME FROM GHOSTBUSTERS"
-- GOP PRESIDENTIAL FOLLIES
-- THE SPORTS SECTION
-- TEARS OF A CLOWN
Editor's Note
Dear Reader: We hope that you are as pleased as we are that The Global Game is back from it's very own self-imposed Mother's Day -- They Got Osama -- Can We Have A National Holiday To Celebrate The Lakers' Self-Implosion? Hiatus....
Notable in this edition is the first ever selection of one of our own readers as
"Hater of The Week"...Cheryl Green of Atlanta earned herself this singular honor, when upon receiving our message thanking her and other TGG readers for the "thousands of e-mails, tweets, Facebook posts and telegrams asking when we would be back," she chose to reply, "Really G$ -- "thousands"?"
Our message to Cheryl and all others of little faith is, "Don't Hate -- Propagate (TGG)!"
But for now, Congratulations, C. Green -- you are this week's "Hater of The Week."
On another preliminary note, since the world ended yesterday at 6:00 p.m., this edition reaches all of you in Heaven, where we hope your stay has been comfortable so far. (Special delivery arrangements will be made for Don White, Tina Smith, and Barry Caldwell).
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| We Were Listening to WBLS 107.5 At The Time, So We Missed The Live Reports.... |
The Real Judgment Day(s)?
Here on Earth, the behavior of some of our so-called leaders leading up to Judgment Day was been very bad indeed. So bad, it is difficult to even know where to start.
For TGG's part, stuck in an Old School time warp as we sometimes are,
when we first heard mention of
"Bad Boys" we thought someone was
referring to a overheated 1983 drama
starring a young Sean Penn...
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| Whatever Happened to Esai Morales? |
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| Still, It Was a Notable Upgrade from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"..... |
Actually, it was bigger boys and badder behavior that set the world on its collective ear last week.
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| Definitely Nail-Biting Time for DSK |
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| Worth A Thousand Words |
It is important to clarify one thing about these two stories: it is incorrect to refer to both of them as "sex scandals." One is a "sex scandal." Another is a very serious allegation of violent criminal behavior by a very powerful man against a woman whose only worldly power would turn out to be the power of her character.
Bad (Bad) Boys: Criminal Division
To many in the corridors of global power, it came as no shock on May 14th when IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn found himself accused of sexually assaulting a hotel maid in his $3,000 a night Manhattan luxury suite. In fact, in one of the more prescient pieces of journalism of our times, the UK's Daily Telegraph had published a piece on May 9th whose subheader called out DSK (as he is known in France) as "an incorrigible seducer whose weakness for women could fatally scupper his presidential ambitions...."
The body of the piece went on to add: "He is always on the hunt for new women. He is a pleasure seeker. Like all great political animals, he has trouble controlling himself..."
The Global Game does not know what happened in the hotel suite. We are willing, in line with the foundations of the legal system in this country, to afford DSK the presumption of innocence.
We do know two things, however.
The first is, maybe DSK's lawyers should stop floating the "if anything happened, it was consensual" trial balloon.
Why?
Why?
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| Because It's Probably Going To Be Hard to Convince a Jury That The Alleged Victim Was Just Dying for a Quick One With This Man Before She Cleaned The Next Six Rooms on Her 8-Hour Shift..... |
The second thing we know is that, as more and more reports come out concerning DSK's behavior around the world (see this report in The Daily Beast that alleges that as soon as he got to his room in the hotel in question he called down to the receptionist who had just checked him in and invited her for "a drink"), that DSK's court-ordered house arrest in a small Manhattan apartment with his wife is likely to become, well, increasingly uncomfortable....
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| These Are Generally What Are Referred to as "Happier Days" |
Bad (Bad) Boys (Civil Division)
Meanwhile, former Governor Schwarzenegger was giving new meaning to the term
"In Da House"
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| This Is Not Exactly What We Mean, Either --- But At Least There's Something Funny About Ali G... |
Really, Governor? For 10 Years?
Crime and Punishment
What, then, was a society to do with bad acts run rampant at the highest levels?
Did we need to send certain people back for a morals education --- but facing more than a ruler across the knuckles as punishment?
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| Confession Is Good For The Soul |
Did we need to lock all the "political animals" in the equivalent of a societal penalty box?
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| Major Misconduct Penalties --- 15 years to Life |
Or Did We Need To Re-open Alcatraz, So Every Once In A While
Certain People Would Think Before
They Acted?
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| And Just To Be Clear, Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery Are Not Going To Be Coming Anytime Soon To Break You Out... |
"Theme From Ghostbusters"
Meanwhile, a few other important things happened while TGG was on hiatus....
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| Headlines Around The World |
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| The President Had No Need To Gloat.... |
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| And The Situation Was All Good In The Situation Room, Especially Between The President and The Secretary of State.... |
Which maybe was why, three long years later, nobody (nobody, of course, except The Global Game) seemed to want to bring up the fact that the Secretary of State (or at least some of her supporters) had questioned whether Barack Obama had what it took to lead the nation through a foreign policy crisis.
Or, to paraphrase the Hillary campaign's infamous ad.......
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| "It's 3 a.m. in the White House. Who Do You Want Answering The Red Phone?" |
Forgot so soon? See for yourself.....
We can't presume to know what President Obama was thinking in the triumphal moment when the daring mission he had so courageously ordered came off like clockwork and he succeeded where Bush and others before him had failed so miserably....
Actually, we lied. Yes we can....
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| I Guess I Answered That #*&$@$ After All, --------! |
GOP Presidential Follies
Meanwhile, the GOP's effort to find a credible contender to run against the President descended into further chaos. In his first week in the race, heavyweight Newt Gingrich, one of the few with the gravitas and the charisma to pose a meaningful threat to the President, made the entirely reasonable observation that the House Republican plan to replace Medicare with a voucher system was probably a conservative social experiment that went too far.
For that, which placed him squarely in line with voters (of all parties) across the country, the Republican attack machine mounted in high gear to try and drive him from the race. Because, after all, if you are running for President you wouldn't want to reassure the most consistent voting bloc there is that you are not going to take away
their medical care......
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| "That's The Last Time I Try To Be Reasonable" |
Other GOP Candidates Were Dropping Like Flies From a Race That The Republicans Once Thought They Had In The Bag.
Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels....
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| Not That, Like, Anybody Really Knew I Was Running Anyway..... |
and Television Clown Donald Trump......
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| Not That, Like, Anybody Really Cared That I Was "Running" Anyway.... |
Getting IN the race, however, was businessman Herman Cain....
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| Because My Political Strategists Tell Me That What GOP Voters Have Been Waiting for Is A Black Candidate Who Ran a Pizza Chain Called "Godfathers".... |
All This, Of Course, Left Observers Pondering What Sarah Palin's Next Move Might Be.....
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| Had She Gotten Lost On That Road? |
Ms. Palin, who had not been heard from for awhile (on hiatus just like TGG) resurfaced this week with her analysis of the strategic dynamics and peace prospects
in the Middle East.
You heard that right. "With her analysis of the strategic dynamics and peace prospects in the Middle East. "
Former Gov. Palin made it clear that she expected to be part of the ongoing national debate. Not, as some accused her, because she wanted to remain in the spotlight to keep her speaking fees high....
No, not because of that at all.
Rather, as Gov. Palin wanted the whole world to understand, because...
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| "Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner" |
So, until further notice, the GOP field (Sarah Palin and a bunch of backup candidates) would remain the political version of
Gladys Night and The Pips.....
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| "You've Got To Use Your Imagination" |
The Sports Section
We have just two notes this week. From the NBA Playoffs:
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| Note to Russell: Pass The Ball To Your Boy (Especially in the 4th Quarter) |
Second, we note that May always irritates TGG. We get irritated every year at the beginning of the month, after the Kentucky Derby, when the horse that won the Derby loses the Preakness, and the media goes into a frenzy saying, "For the xxth year in a row, there will be no Triple Crown winner"
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| OK, Maybe It's Just Not Gonna Happen, Fellas.... |
Then, we get irritated at the end of the month around the Indy 500 and all of the inevitable Danica Patrick hype.....
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| Would Someone Please Make Her Put Some Clothes On --- Please? |
Tears of a Clown
Finally, TGG, always with a soft spot for the clowns of the world, winds up this week with reports that various public interest groups are pressuring McDonald's to retire Ronald McDonald, apparently because he represents a danger to the health of our nation's children.
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| "Say What?" What's next --- a ban on Scooby Snacks? Please help us stop the madness. Send your contributions to: The Ronald McDonald Defense Fund 1 Clown Alley Clownville, USA 12345 Stay tuned next Weekend for Volume 1, Issue 14 of TGG, and be on the lookout for periodic updates "as events warrant" |
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